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Social well-being - what
is it? Is it something you can buy,
teach yourself or is it something
you learn throughout your life and
which perhaps weakens if you become
mentally ill?
I
believe that we all learn it from
when we are children and throughout
our life through the influences, experiences,
challenges and social connections
we enter into.
It
starts in our family, develops during
our time spent in nursery, kindergarten,
school, work, education, with friends,
acquaintances and through life's ups
and downs.
One's
childhood and challenges are not equally
and fairly distributed. But you can
still have a good life and social
well-being. It does demand though
that you scrutinize your life and
actual life situation, and depends
on whether you wish to change your
current situation.
Can't
buy friends
Some
people think that you can buy your
way to well-being by for example always
being the one to buy "another
round" of one kind or another.
This often only results in a short-term
social contact, acceptance and socialising.
When the money has gone, the "friends",
the socialising and the care have
gone.
Irrespective
of what the childhood and challenges
of someone's life have been, there
are a couple of things you should
make your mind up about: How can I
achieve an increased well-being, and
what conditions do I have to change
to achieve it.
You
can start modestly by taking one step
at a time. When you have achieved
success in one of your goals, you
can then go on to the next.
Social
well-being is to be respected, valued
and cared about. It is also being
able to cope with and master social
situations and be with other people
in a mutually giving way. You can
furthermore fill up your spare time
with activities and chores, which
make you feel good.
Your
self-esteem is strengthened by conquering
your own feelings of inadequacy and
turning them around so that you act
in a positive and constructive way.
Better
social well-being
But
what can you do to get better social
well-being? You can show respect for
others, speak to them and behave in
a way that you wish yourself to be
treated.
This
might be by giving and offering support
to a friend, the family or acquaintances,
who are currently feeling worse than
yourself. By showing respect and that
you care for this person, will make
him or her feel an increased degree
of well-being because you have shown
an interest in him/her. You yourself
will feel a sense of well-being from
having done it.
It
is a good idea to focus on what you
used to be good at or liked doing
and then try doing it again. This
might for example be dancing. Perhaps
you are good at dancing or maybe you
would like to learn.
The
question is whether you dare take
a risk and do something about it.
If you were to take a risk, it would
lead to socialising and joy. This
again would give you a better sense
of well-being, more quality of life
and courage to do other things and
to get on.
Good
advice
A
couple of days before I wrote these
lines, I sat and drank a cup of coffee
with patients in the ward where I
work. I told them that I was writing
this article. I asked them what well-being
is to them, and whether they had any
good advice that I could pass on.
Here
are some examples of what they prioritised
the most:
- You have to
look at the interests that you
have or used to have, what you
are or used to be good at and
then strengthen that.
- If you are receiving
an early retirement pension, it
mustn't become a pretext for doing
nothing. You mustn't withdraw
from social relations.
- You must continue
to function together with others
and not feel inferior or superior
but meet on an equal footing.
- You can help
others, in order to help yourself.
- You must create
and shape your everyday life by
structuring it with different
tasks, for example cooking dinner,
do sport, meet up with friends.
- It is important
to have friends who can help,
support and back you up, and to
show humour in a mutual way.
- You must make
sure that you get "input"
in your everyday life from friends,
family, courses, newspapers and
by communicating with the outside
world.
- A telephone
is a good thing but when it never
rings, it is a sad thing. So call
a friend every day.
As
Søren Kierkegaard used to say:
He who dares, will loose his footing,
he who doesn't dare, will loose himself.
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